Debate Moderator Lehrer Gets Bored, Leaves Stage to Smoke Pot w/ DU Students

4 Oct

Presidential Debate moderator Jim Lehrer left the stage shortly before the beginning of the presidential debate on Wednesday, aides said, to go smoke marijuana with Denver University students helping backstage.

“After a few of these debates, it hits you, there’s really nothing to them. All the answers are the same. All the questions are the same. The candidates don’t say anything. The president says nothing. The voters just imagine things, and my job is just to make the show go on, kind of like Dick Clark, and I’m so freakin’ tired of it. Pass me that bong, I want to get good and baked before I have to go out there and look interested in this damn bumper car rally,” Lehrer was quoted as telling one of the aides, known as Tuuku.

Another aide caught firing it up with Lehrer, Alinda, said she was able to lure the moderator offstage when she overheard him muttering to himself as he paged through his stack of questions on his podium.

“He was saying, “Can’t we talk about the pennant races or something? Who cares about Syria anymore? Most people out there don’t give a hoot where Syria is? They don’t even have jobs.’ That was my cue to come in and offer him some of this designer weed I just picked up at my dad’s dispensary.”

News Snot asked her which candidate she favored in the debate.

“Neither one. They’re both a bunch of stiffs. I prefer the fat guy from Jersey,” she snizzed. “He’s so mafia.”

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